I’m not who I thought I was.

*Clearing cobwebs*

It’s been 2 weeks, 2 whole weeks! I’ve missed writing , I’ve thought about it almost everyday, but sun up to sun down, time has been like a slippery child in my hands, every time I try to grasp, it just slips away, until today (i’m wearing special gloves, so no slipping baby! 😊).

This was not the title I planned for my “back to blogging” post but events of the past few weeks prompted this. So let’s get to it, shall we?😉

Everyone has an opinion about who they are, many times we often think too little or too much of ourselves, very rarely is our opinion “point-on”. Maybe that’s why Apostle Paul said;

My conscience is clear, but that does not prove that I am really innocent. The Lord is the one who passes judgement on me.
1 Corinthians 4:4 GNB

We often stand to either extreme of the divide, taking the opinion of others about who we are (unfortunately people aren’t always accurate) or taking our own opinion which is often flawed. So many of us parade a low self-esteem and many others a bloated self-esteem, all because we tap identity from the wrong source.

You know why the opinion of people about you is often inaccurate? I’d tell you what I think; it because most people don’t know you well enough and even when they do, alot of them would only tell you the good stuff, your sterling qualities but never your faults. While i don’t like friends that always criticise and never commend, friends that always commend and never correct are just as dangerous. We need a healthy balance of both.

You know why your opinion of yourself is often flawed? I’d tell you what i think; it’s because we don’t know ourselves well enough (sounds funny right? but its true). Have you ever been shocked at your own reaction in a situation because you never believed you could act that way, but you did? I know I have. We actually don’t know how much good we can do or how nasty we can be till we’ve been put on the spot.

I am on the side of the divide that often thinks too highly of myself, probably because people often have nice things to say about me, probably because….. I’m not really sure of the second because. But everytime I fall short or go above (yes, that happens too) my expectations of myself I’m reminded that I’m not my standard.

The best opinion-source is the creator himself, Christ is the one that sets the standard, he’s the one that can tell me the truth about me. The word of God is my mirror, that’s where I see my true state. When I look elsewhere, I end up trying to hard to meet an unnecessary standard or feeling I’ve arrived and doing too little. The thing I love most about seeing myself through his eyes is this; I see his perfection and every “great” thing I’ve ever done pales in comparison and I see his perfection and in him I see who I am.

My opinion of myself doesn’t come from what I do right or do wrong. It comes from who christ has made me. A Child of the most high God. (JOHN 1:12).

I’m not who I thought I was, I thought I was a good person, but I realise daily that all men are the same, (greatly flawed) what makes the difference is Jesus.


3 thoughts on “I’m not who I thought I was.

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