A baby died today.

I’m struggling with this post, because I wonder how many would truly understand.

But what am I here for, if not to share how my everyday experiences builds me, how God uses mundane experiences to shape me.. with the hope that this would help you see how your experiences too aren’t just there to decorate your timeline but to teach you and shape you (especially those little mundane things).

A baby died today, while i was at the neonatal ward, she came in just 6hours old, and she was cold, she hadn’t cried since birth and the prognosis was poor, the doctors did their best but she still passed away. A beautiful, chubby, baby girl, yet she lived just a little short of 12hrs. I asked questions though, I thought we could have done more (maybe I was right, maybe I wasn’t) but the controversy was this baby was practically already brain dead before she was brought in, even if she was resuscitated, she’d most likely never live a normal life. But my question is ‘most likely’ is not definitive, it’s just a high chance, what if she’s among the 1% that gets to make a good recovery, but we had decided in our hearts that that’s very unlikely (still not definitive) without knowing it, we played God.

Please undertsand with me that my agnst isn’t really about this case it runs deeper, because this exposes the true state of our hearts and what i see scares me. When I had no other hope but God, I trusted that he could do ANYTHING/EVERYTHING but now science has taught me otherwise and I have believed it. When i was younger, it was easy to believe in miracles, now i act as hopless as everyone else that’s without Jesus.

I shed a few tears, not for the death of this baby girl, but for myself, for my child-like faith that dies a little everyday. Today I have to put science before God, I am supposed to offer hope, but I myself, i’m hopeless and confused, what to do, and what not? Sometimes I hate dislike my feild of study, because of how helpless it makes me feel.

I’m not in doubt that all must be done that can be done scientifically, but when it’s obvious that only a miracle can help, why can’t we believe that a miracle is possible? many times I even completely forget that’s an option (maybe the only one). I have more questions than answers.

If the world without Christ has no hope to offer shouldn’t those with christ have something better to offer? I remember Jesus and how when He walked on this earth, He gave hope to many that had lost all hope of a normal life, and i remember His words….

John 14:12-14 

“I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father.”

I  only pray to live this out.

I guess the moral of the story is this, dont stop believing in miracles because science says its unlikely. Don’t let ‘experience’ dull your spiritual senses, don’t make God handicap when He says his All Powerful, let your application of science be with Godly wisdom, and finally when you don’t have the answer, when there’s confusion, please don’t play God, instead ask him for help, because even when we are helpless  he isn’t.



2 thoughts on “A baby died today.

  1. […] know, but this realisation really got me excited. Some weeks back, i wrote about a baby that died (here) and how helpless i felt, which is how I often feel when i can’t solve a problem that’s […]


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