Hello you,😊 this post was supposed to have come up yesterday but apparently my service provider had other ideas, so I couldn’t use the net. I’m sorry. Anyway, we here now, yipeee!

Its short story Friday Saturday, but I thought to myself instead of starting a new story today, why don’t we see what lessons we can glean from the just concluded story “Dreamer”… what do you say? I’d love to hear from you but let me set the ball rolling by sharing what I learnt while writing (and reading) the story.
In the story, the dreamer spoke about being scared about marriage, for a number of genuine reasons- her parents had struggled with theirs, so many failing marriages around etc.- I’ve come to realize that these are genuine fears of many young people today. And please it’s not just the ladies, even guys too.
The fear of marriage is the beginning of…. what? I’m yet to discover the answer to this, but too many youths (unmarried youths) seem to think fear is the way to go, and I’m beginning to wonder, does anything good come out of ‘fearing’ marriage? Someone said fear would make you cautious and careful so you don’t fall into error, but sincerely I don’t know about you but I generally don’t make smart decisions when I’m besieged by fear.
Do we have genuine reasons to be scared? Yes, but would being scared help? No! I feel like our spiritual leaders don’t help sometimes. When they come to talk about marriage, one of the first things we are told is that “if you miss it in marriage, you just booked a ticket to hell” I’ve heard that so many times in various versions these days I just want to yawn… I know their intentions are good, with the rising rate of divorce and all that’s going wrong with couples these days they are trying to protect us and keep us from making similar mistakes, but I think they are going about it the wrong way. We are told so much about the ills of marriage but not much is said about the beauty of it. If marriage was instituted by God and everything He makes is good, then doesn’t it stand to reason that marriage is a good thing?

We’ve filled our hearts with a number of wrong perspectives, young men enter marriage with a pre-formed concept that their wives are like territories that they need to subdue and conquer and my dear ladies enter with a mindset that they must allow no man walk over them so they are always on the defensive, so much tension, so little peace, its sad. What’s wrong with all of us? Especially us Christians. Where is the love of God that was shed abroad in our hearts (Romans 5:5). Yes we are at war, but not against the other person, the only battle we’ve been called to fight is the one with SELF, the war to put our bodies under, that the spirit may come alive. What about war against the Devil you may ask, sweetheart, Jesus fought that battle and won already, all we do is resist him, we don’t fight him, we just remind him of his place, he’s been defeated. (I deviated a bit, sorry😇)

I write as onewho was very scared about marriage. (I spoke about this in my post overactive mind series, the third entry, Here) like the dreamer, I also told my mother that I would never get married, because all the things I knew about marriage were either sad or plain hard. I watched young vibrant cheerful ladies in my church get married and less than a year later they just seemed to lose their glow, it seemed like marriage just sucked the Joy out of them and I just watched and wondered. I asked a friend one day, “what would you prefer, to be single and happy or married and sad?”..  I can’t remember her reply, but I chose the former because I didn’t see the possibility of having both, ‘marriage’ and ‘happy’.
So what was the game changer? I’d tell you next week. It’s been an interesting journey for me and this is an issue that’s so dear to my heart, maybe you are like the lady in the story “Dreamer” or maybe not but I do hope my journey helps someone see things differently. I look forward to sharing.

Till next week. JESUSRULES# and he Loves you!


  1. Mehnnnn… I would beg to differ a little here. I don’t believe in love… I just believe in liking people for certain terms and condition. Its only God’s love I’ve got infinity faith in.
    Now, when true love has not been experienced, how can it be given. When God hasn’t been seen in His fullness, how do we see love… or someone to love… or love as love is… what we mostly have today is people going into marriage because they deem it the next step to do age-wise or as a societal-prerequisite. NO!!!
    Get God, Get Marriage. but unfortunately… the pursuit of God has been limited to those who goes to seminary, or those who wanna go to heaven. Yet… society is rich with people like this who are subtly and subconciously our thought-pattern moulders as touching marriage not just in their words… but in their own unconscious acts. God help us all oh.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Really everyone has theses fears, But trust me when you find love, and I mean “real love” not “hang out love”, it just has a way of dispelling all that fear bringing hope and even enthusiasm of just settling down.


    • When you find true love the fear seems to disappear. But the fear of the unknown and change set in when the relationship gets really serious thus the cold feet every woman has days to her wedding.

      Liked by 1 person

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